(cross-posted from social media)
International Bereaved Mother's Day is on the first Sunday in May, which this year happened to coincide with what is typically a day of celebration for us (an anniversary). I found myself torn: do I acknowledge both?
I decided not to post yesterday about that sad time in our lives. I chose instead to share our immense joy. Life is short, and we've taken a lot of hits over our 18 years together, especially in these last few months, so I decided to focus on the good, which is a lifeline for me.
But that doesn't mean I didn't feel it somewhere in there. I let it float in and out of my awareness as it wanted to, but I didn't focus on it or hang onto those feelings. I am feeling them more today, though.
Some years I pull out the little blanket a friend had made for what was supposed to be our happy occasion. That blanket actually gives me comfort, because it symbolizes love: for each other, for our child, and the love of a friend who made something beautiful for our baby with her own hands.
Had things been different, our child would be getting ready to graduate high school soon. I sometimes can't fathom that.
For you moms out there who've also lost a child, I see you, I feel you, and I am sending my love to you this week and always. If I can do anything for you, even just listen or sit with you, I'm here. ❤️🙏🏻
.png "18 years")
