Memorial Day Socializing

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I don’t usually do this but we decided to go to the neighborhood picnic today. I made a pasta salad so let’s hope people like it!

You can’t see it but I am wearing red, white, and blue! 🇺🇸

When Life Hits: Ask for Help

Friends, we need your help. My husband was laid off from his job and is looking for a new one. We're looking for leads on a Site Reliability Engineer / Linux Administrator role. 

Below is a quick summary of his experience/strengths. If you have any leads, I'm happy to share his resume if your org is hiring or if you know someone who knows someone. Thanks in advance for your help! 

• Extensive experience designing, deploying, and managing large
• scale, high-availability systems. 
• Strong focus in scripting and automation, enabling efficient system provisioning, configuration management, and task orchestration. 
• Skilled in integrating open-source tools with modern workflows to support complex data pipelines. 
• Known for deep technical knowledge, reliability, and the ability to bridge legacy systems with cutting-edge technologies.

See LinkedIn for more details on his experience. Thanks in advance for your help!

International Bereaved Mother's Day: May 4, 2025

(cross-posted from social media)

International Bereaved Mother's Day is on the first Sunday in May, which this year happened to coincide with what is typically a day of celebration for us (an anniversary). I found myself torn: do I acknowledge both? 

I decided not to post yesterday about that sad time in our lives. I chose instead to share our immense joy. Life is short, and we've taken a lot of hits over our 18 years together, especially in these last few months, so I decided to focus on the good, which is a lifeline for me.

But that doesn't mean I didn't feel it somewhere in there. I let it float in and out of my awareness as it wanted to, but I didn't focus on it or hang onto those feelings. I am feeling them more today, though.

Some years I pull out the little blanket a friend had made for what was supposed to be our happy occasion. That blanket actually gives me comfort, because it symbolizes love: for each other, for our child, and the love of a friend who made something beautiful for our baby with her own hands.

Had things been different, our child would be getting ready to graduate high school soon. I sometimes can't fathom that. 

For you moms out there who've also lost a child, I see you, I feel you, and I am sending my love to you this week and always. If I can do anything for you, even just listen or sit with you, I'm here. ❤️🙏🏻

Eighteen Years Together

How to sum up 18 years since our first date? 

🙏🏻 Gratitude. 

❤️ Love. 

🤪 Silliness. 

👫 Partnership. 

🤣 Laughter.

Thanks for finding me, Fred.

A Beautiful, Unexpected Gift

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What’s comforting you lately? 

The other day I received a lovely surprise in the mail: this beautiful stained glass piece was sent by a friend of mine. I am so touched and have hung it up in my window. 

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle… 

…is a prayer that has gotten me through some tough times over the years. I take a lot of comfort in it, and also in friendships new and old…and I’ll always think of my friend when I see this in my window.  ☺️

She bought it on Etsy if you're interested! I can't confirm the seller/crafter (I didn't see it on the packaging), but if you search on "Archangel stained glass" you'll find it and others from various crafters. 

Time for a spooky story!

[crossposted from social media]

Okay my friends, gather round, because it’s storytime. The weirdest thing happened to Fred and me today, and we can’t explain it . . . yet.

To set the scene, we were both in the living room, which is in the back of the house. He was on his lunch break having a nap on the big couch, and I was sitting on the loveseat working on my laptop. 

The house was very quiet. Out of nowhere I heard an angry male voice coming from the front of the house, I thought from outside. It was sudden, sharp, and loud, but I could’t determine what was being said, only the manner in which it was being said. It sounded like someone about to get into a fight.

I thought “What is going on? Is our next door neighbor yelling? Is he okay?” 

I jumped off the couch and started down the hall, shouting “Fred! Do you hear that?” He woke up with a start and then said, “Yeah. Right behind you.” 

I dashed down to the front of the house to twitch the curtains and be nosy, and he followed me. 

Turns out, no curtain twitching was necessary. I followed the voice . . . straight into Fred’s office. Somewhere in there was the angry male voice. 

“Fred! It’s in here! What the --?”

He was hot on my heels into his office.

“What the hell?”

“It’s coming from your desk, Fred.” 

“ . . . What? How?”

On his desk was an older tablet that he was charging. He occasionally uses it to take photos or draw or listen to audiobooks, but he hadn’t used it in at least a few weeks. 

It had randomly decided to play an audiobook—one that he wasn’t even listening to—at top volume and in a dramatic scene where the main character is having a fight…

… and we don’t know why. 🤷‍♀️

There were no devices listening for a command to start playing the book. No one had been speaking to give a command. Had a command been given, that device was not connected to that system and would be incapcable of receiving said command. 

Additionally, the tablet had been sitting unused. Fred had not been listening to that book, because he’d finished the book weeks ago. The part that started up was in the middle of the book. 

Why it did all that, we have no idea.

It was the weirdest thing that’s happened in a while. Even Fred was a little weirded out, and that’s saying something.

So this one is up there in terms of creepy happenings, like the time I was home alone in Pittsburgh and Fred was in Ann Arbor and I was in bed upstairs when I heard a male voice downstairs in my kitchen. Grabbing my phone set to 911 and a big stick, I crept downstairs to confront an intruder . . . only to realize a radio in the kitchen above the sink had suddenly decided to turn itself on at midnight a few nights in a row.  (We eventually debunked that one. I had accidentally handled a button on the front that turned on an alarm that tuned to a radio station at midnight.)

Or (in the same house as above) that time we were in bed falling asleep and we heard a chime similar to a Tibetan meditation bowl in our bedroom—just one short, clear chime—except there were no bowls, there were no bells, and neither of our devices at the time had that particular sound on them as an option for alarms or alerts. We never did manage to debunk that one.)

So … maybe we’ll figure this one out, and maybe we won’t. Fred has a theory, but we want to know what you think?

Do you think it could be a haunting or something paranormal? Or do you think there’s a logical explanation? If the latter, what is your theory about how that tablet/audiobook did that? 

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Derpatologist

[crossposted on social media]

Watching Svengoolie, the movie is Ssssssss (with Dirk Benedict) tonight. In one scene, an alleged herpetologist just referred to some snakes as not poisonous. 

Me: Nonvenomous!! Venomous!!! Not “poisonous.”

Fred: To be fair, perhaps it’s also not poisonous. You could maybe eat it and not die. 

Me: (putting side my horror at that thought for a second) Anyway, some herpetologist he is. 

Fred: More like a “derpatologist.”

This has been a snippet of my life with Fred. 🤣

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Kicking Butt

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Sure didn't have "get the worst cold I've had in 10 years" on my bingo card for Halloween, but here we are. Even when I had two cases of the corvids I did not feel this bad. Fred showed signs of it on Sunday and is mostly better so I guess it's a five day thing. I did the cooking and the caring while he was sick, and now it's his turn:

Fred: "Call me if you need anything"

Me, croaking: "No voice"

Fred: "Come kick my a#% if you need anything."

Me: (see gif) 

🤧😂

#blessed #marriedlife 

#SnippetsOfMyLifeWithFred

(crossposted from Facebook)

Halloween Sip n' Paint

Yesterday some friends and I had a ton of fun doing a Halloween-themed sip n’ paint at one of our homes. This is only my second time painting anything, and I had such a blast. I’ve learned I enjoy painting and plan on continuing doing tutorials and such. But most of all, the company (and the homemade chili and wine) were stellar. 

Here is the channel whose tutorials we used. If you try them, have fun! 👻🫖🐝

I painted the "Boo Bees" (🤦‍♀️ at that name, though)

Michelle painted the ghost

Elizabeth painted the haunted teapot

You can get art supplies at your local art or craft store, or HERE.

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Happy Holidays!

It's Boxing Day (the 26th of December) and I can't help but feel grateful for the quiet time between Christmas and New Year. I traditionally book little to no work during this week in order to give myself a chance to relax, reset, and review the previous year. 

2022 was a year of joy and purpose punctuated by upheaval. As someone who has come through a lot in life by adjusting my attitude about things, I find it's good to acknowledge the bad with the good, so let's get the upheaval out of the way: our family experienced multiple dangerous illnesses, injuries, hospitalizations, and losses. One family member lost sight in one eye; another one was almost killed in an accident. There've been some nail-biters this year to be sure... And some of our friends have died unexpectedly. 

In contrast, many aspects of 2022 brought much joy: 

• Our family are all still here (most importantly)
• I took a bucket-list trip to MI Paracon in the summer and a couple of other wonderful mini trips
• I have a meaningful purpose with threshold singing
• It's been a good year in my editing business as well as breaking through some writer's block
• New friendships were forged 
• Past friendships were renewed (including reconnecting with friends I haven't spoken to in 30 years)
• We've had meaningful family time celebrating birthdays and holidays, including my husband and I purchasing our first-ever Christmas tree as a couple

I have also read a lot of good books this year, so around the new year, expect a post with that list of reads. 

I wish you all the quiet peacefulness of this time of year, a healthy winter, and much success and happiness in 2023!

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As an Amazon associate I may earn from qualifying purchases.)

When Feeling Grief while Singing at Bedside

One thing I love about being a Threshold Singer is seeing how music brings a sense of peace to a patient and their families. To be able to hold space for someone who is dying, for their families to grieve, and to be able to comfort that family is why we do what we do. 

The song is the gift ... for all of us.

Each time I go to hospice, I feel like I'm entering a sacred space. But each visit has been different from others, as varied as the people in the world—no two visits are alike. And some days impact me more deeply than others. 

On my most recent visit, I learned what preemptive grief is. I knew that it would come up at some point in my journey as a bedside singer. I didn't know when it would hit, but I knew it would at some point. 

"Some point" is today, apparently. 

Training to be a threshold singer prepares you for such things, thankfully. I've done a lot of examination of my own thoughts around death and how I personally process grief. I feel I have grown so much through that work. And today I witnessed two situations that I imagine I will experience some day. They felt a little close to home, and that feeling of preemptive grief arrived. It happened mid-song, so instead of reacting, I took the role of observer, thinking "Hm. Okay. This is grief happening, and I will look more closely at it later when I'm done with this visit."

Now that I am home from a song visit, I will sit, and I will feel: grief to gratitude, heart open, sitting in loving light, sending loving-kindness to all beings...

To all souls.

I am grateful for my fellow singers. And I am grateful to the family members present in each of those situations for their openness, their willingness to share both current, physical space and timeless, liminal space with us during their sorrow and their exhaustion and their pain, as well as their memories and their joy in having been part of a life well lived. We witness all of these things, and more. I'm grateful that they let the music be whatever they need it to be in that moment. 

I'm especially grateful for the ones who could hear us in another room, who wonder if we'll come to them next and eagerly greet us when we do. They have demonstrated such generosity and beauty of spirit. They and my fellow singers kept me going when those uncomfortable feelings cropped up, like a life-saver ring thrown into a sea of emotions. I held on and let them lift me out of the depths.

Thank you for that gift. 

Birthday Books and Celebration

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This past Sunday was my birthday, and it was the perfect weekend. My family took me out to dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. The food and wine were delicious. I had the pasta arrabbiata, and it was enough for me to take leftovers home for two more meals. (Photo is not my actual meal, by the way.)

Then, we came home for cake. When my mom asked me what type of cake to get, I asked for "yellow cake with fudgy icing" and she delivered! The local grocery bakery does a fantastic job! That small caked lasted for several days.

I treated myself to two new books for my birthday. I purchased them at Inner Traditions / Bear & Co. and will put some links at the bottom of the post.

The first is Healing Sounds: The Power of Harmonics by Jonathan Goldman. I've always been fascinated by the concept of sound as a tool for healing. Indeed, it's one reason I became a threshold singer. I can't wait to dig in to this book. 

The second book is a Sacred Geometry coloring book by Francene Hart. I started using this last night with some bright gel pens, and I am loving it! I started with dolphins in a Merkaba pattern. Coloring is a great stress reliever for me—a way for me to get into a meditative zone without actually meditating in a formal sense.

Also, I'll admit I've had some writer's block this year, but something about my birthday burst open the dam and I am now writing about a thousand words daily. I'm so pleased! 

It's been a great celebration. Grateful to have made it to 51. Onward! 

The books I purchased (you can click on the pictures to learn more):

   

Autumn Is My Favorite Time of Year

I love autumn! Since moving South (for new readers: I moved from Pittsburgh to coastal North Carolina last year), I'm still adjusting to how the seasons are different here. We do still get some changing leaves and the hint of a crisp breeze on the air when fall arrives down here. You can wear a long-sleeved T-shirt or a light jacket some days and not get overheated—unlike in PA where by now I'd have the winter coat ready.

My family and I often take a big trip in the fall every year. Examples of past trips include coastal towns in the Carolinas, coastal Maryland, Seattle, and Connecticut. We'd hike and walk for miles and take ferries and sightsee and go to museums and festivals... This year had to be a bit different though, so we took it easy.

Last week I drove my folks into the mountains to see the changing colors—leaf peeping is well and good in western NC! We drove along the Blue Ridge Parkway and pulled over into scenic overlooks to take pics. My mom also drove part of the way so I could take some pics while on the road, since I admired how the light dappled through the leaves to create beautiful tunnels of shimmering orange, yellow, red, green, and brown as we drove. 

It was nice to meander our way around the changing foliage and stop in cute little towns for lunch or tea (or pumpkin pie ice cream). I'm honored to be their daughter and will always cherish this time together.